a queer question

I met a friend’s partner recently and, after a little small talk, he said “so you’re heterosexual.” It really caught me by surprise.

Without using clear tones of voice when speaking, since obviously there is no other punctuation to accompany the spoken word, it is hard to distinguish verbally between a statement and a question. I thought I heard a statement. At that moment I was so lost in my head I didn’t say anything. I was speechless.

I have never had to declare my sexuality to anyone.

I suppose as a young teenager I had to cross a line from asexual to sexual and become comfortable talking about sexuality. For at least 10 years after becoming sexual I was not able to have a conversation with my family members about anything around that topic. It was just too embarrassing.

I didn’t feel trapped or forced into heterosexuality, it just was the default path, it did not require any explanation, and no one asked. And it seemed to fit.

At the same time, I did not know there was a decision I could make. I didn’t know that I was deciding anything.

So now, in 2019, someone I’ve just met asserts my sexuality and I wonder what there is to think about and maybe I should think things through and make that decision myself.

I suspect ambiguity is acceptable, for the time being, for anyone even interested in the answer, so I can take my time with it.

Isn’t life amazing?!?!?!?

David